My adventures with Doctor Mark...
So, this week turned into a pseudo medical week with lots of trips to various and sundry practitioners. One such trip was the semi regular foray down to the world of the Dental School.
I’ve been going to NYU Dental School for about a year now. This after having come to the conclusion it might be a good idea to get my teeth looked at. Part of the motivation in that decision was not having gone to my regular dentist in awhile. Part of the motivation was in thinking I would be out on the market dating soon, it might not be the worst idea to be out there with a mouth full of decent looking teeth (nice smile going a long way with the ladies).
So, I went down and got myself assigned to a student who wound up graduating and handing me off to two other students. Now here it is a year later and we’ve finished all the repair work due to decay and were set to embark on the next phase of the dental odyssey which will be reconstruction and restoration. Think of my mouth as some kind of large public works project - akin to a bridge or a highway and you begin to get the idea of the scope of things.
At one point I actually considered putting out public notices for bids for the work but reconsidered and thought the better of it.
So, I’ve been under the care of Jan and Mike my two dental students (a senior and a junior respectively) and I’II have to say I’ve been pretty pleased with the results. Going to a dental school instead of a regular dentist sounds like it would be an unwise decision, an observation which couldn’t be further from the truth.
The reason I stopped going to my last dentist is that I didn’t think he was doing a good job and finding a dentist isn’t an easy thing. So I procrastinated with the obvious repercussions. The thing I like about the dental school is that the students there are really concerned about doing a good job. Each and every time they delve into your mouth, they have to get a professors’ okay before doing whatever it is they’re going to do and when they’re finished it gets looked over by a professor and graded - imagine, my teeth being someone’s class project!
So, I’ve been enjoying the whole dental school experience and can’t recommend it highly enough. Getting back to Dr. Mark, so this week having finished all the ‘decay’ stuff, the next step was to see if I could get my case accepted by the cosmetic dentistry clinic. So, when I went in for my appointment with Jan this week, I was surprised to find instead of having another go round with the drill, we would be going to the other clinic and finding out what they thought.
The cosmetic dentistry clinic is in another adjoining building, so Jan and I made our way over there her carrying the model of my teeth in this little black suitcase (I didn’t know it was a model of my teeth on the way over but so what).
Well, walking into the cosmetic dentistry clinic was something like going from a Motel 6 to the Waldorf! Not that the facilities are bad at the clinic but where the clinic is a large common room broken down into cubicles and painted with this garish yellow color, the cosmetic dentistry clinic couldn’t be further from that. The color scheme was in these very elegant pale tones and with lots of wood accents. Instead of a series of cubicles in a large communal room, each patient has there own treatment room. Definitely, the luxury wing of the school complete with a little plaque outside each room stating who the magnanimous donor responsible for the beautiful facilities was.
So, there we were in the Shangri-La of the dental school, my student dentist Jan and I. We were supposed to meet with one doctor (professor) and as it turned out she was busy. Jan set me up in one of the rooms, prepping it for the exam , placing all kinds of tacky, sterile plastic on all the surfaces. She left to find a the person we’d be meeting with and while she was gone I took the opportunity to play with the chair.
See, Jan hadn’t been able to figure out how to get the chair to operate and once she was gone, of course I set about making myself comfortable by figuring out how to adjust the chair. Admit it, we all at one time or another have wanted to fool around with all those little do-dads in the dentists’ office (the water, the drain, the chair, the air thingee), the good thing about the dental school is that the students are still so new to all of it they don’t get pissed off by your playing with their toys. They’re still so new to the concept of poking around inside of someone’s mouth they’re just happy if you wind up doing something that makes you more comfortable and thereby makes it easier for them to work.
So, here I am fooling around with the chair. I get it to drop from its’ ridiculously high position, jump up and in (in my most graceful NASA astronaut way), and then proceed to get the back and height adjusted oh-so-well that I can nap a little if it takes a bit of time to find whoever it is were meeting with.
A few minutes later, Jan walks in trailed by another dental student and Dr. Mark who she introduces to me. Dr. Mark’s name even seems in keeping with the subdued and calming demeanor of the cosmetic dentistry clinic. I mean, of course what other kind of surname would he have? Dr. Mark. It makes perfect sense and then I begin to wonder if there aren’t a whole series of professors in the cosmetic dentistry clinic who have been blessed with surnames which sound like informal first names.
Doctor Mark is an Asian man who appears to be somewhere between his mid thirties to mid forties. He is not tall but seems impeccably groomed but, that’s not the most striking thing about Dr. Mark, oh no.
For when Dr. Mark opens his mouth, out comes the deepest, most basso FM radio voice. Dr. Mark has missed his true calling as an announcer somewhere - this much is certain within the first minute and a half of meeting him. Somewhere from deep inside this deceptive package issues forth this commanding, resonant voice which immediately reminds me of the guy who does all those voiceovers for every crappy movie preview I’m forced to sit through.
In this moment, I almost begin to hear Dr. Mark intoning, ”In a mouth... of despair. There lie teeth, in desperate need...” well, you get the idea.
Dr, Mark is very perfunctory though and quite businesslike, after introducing himself he gets right down to the business of picking and poking to see if my dental student Jan has a case worthy of the cosmetic dentistry clinic.
He picks away at my teeth, making the occasional comment about some discrepancy between his observation and what my chart shows. It is very quick, very brief. At one point, Dr. Mark picks up the model of my teeth and is inspecting it while showing Jan a proposed plan of treatment. While handling the model, something comes loose and one of the model’s teeth falls of at which I grab my mouth and bleat in mock pain.
Dr. Mark gets the joke, as does Jan and they continue pouring over the model. In too brief a time the consultation is over, Dr. Mark exits leaving the memory of his rather large voice behind and Jan and I make our way back to the normal clinic. Away from the world of muted colors, carpeted floors and hushed noises to the measured cacophony of the normal clinic.
Anyway, the upshot is I think I am winding up in the cosmetic dentistry clinic. Even if I don’t though I will not soon forget the voice of the infamous Dr. Mark.
